I'm a Third Culture Kid. A term coined by sociologist Ruth Hill Useem in the 1960s, a TCK refers to someone who “spends a significant portion of their lives outside their parent’s culture, and builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any”. Yes, I often suffer from culture shock when I return to my own "home" country. I went to an International school in Oman and my friends were from all over the world – the Middle East, South Asia, South East Asia, Africa, and some parts of Europe. I could sort them out by continent! All our cultures rubbed off on each other and I grew up becoming a little bit of everything. Every day I learned a little bit more about how different cultures view certain things, and one such day was during break, when I overheard two of my friends discussing the Richard Gere-Shilpa Shetty incident.
In April 2007, at an AIDS-awareness American actor Richard Gere kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty several times on the cheek in New Delhi, causing waves of anger and protests across India. One of my friends, a conservative Pakistani with Indian roots, was angry at the incident because it was an outright attack on their cultural values. “She has disgraced her family and her fans” said Miriam, “And Richard Gere imposing himself on her is right in line with the American mentality. They think they can do whatever they want, wherever they want”.
My other friend Latisha, a Ugandan who grew up in British School before moving into our school, laughed derisively. “It’s just a kiss” she exclaimed, “Why is the Indian public blowing it so out of proportion? They’re burning effigies of Richard Gere and burning photos of Shilpa Shetty. Why can’t these Indians just get with the times?”.
I sensed Miriam getting riled up at this comment. “Kissing in public may be okay for him but public displays of affection are still taboo in India and he should have been more respectful. And Shilpa Shetty shouldn’t have let it happen. Do not insult the public for wanting to protect their heritage!” At this point, Latisha must have realized she hit a nerve, because she quickly changed the subject.
Looking back on this conversation, I realized how intercultural conflicts can happen both in the macrocosm and microcosm. Richard Gere caused massive protests across India when he did something that wouldn’t have caused a flinch back in the US. Shilpa Shetty, of course couldn’t have been to blame. Pushing him off the pedestal would have been rather ungracious on her part, especially on national TV. Perhaps some of these protestors saw Gere's move as symbolic of the stereotype that all Americans were culturally insensitive and imposed their values carelessly on the rest of the world. And fundamentalist Hindu groups may have seen it as an affront to the moral values they hold so dear, in their own land. But people from other cultures like Latisha, may comprehend the reaction at face-value as simply an over-reaction by a public that “refuses to get with it”. Clearly, if only you looked beyond the tip of the iceberg, cultural practices and reactions that seemed bizarre upfront begin to to make more sense.
Both Miriam and Latisha were new to my school. Neither grew up with such close encounters with other cultures. They were both being stubbornly ethnocentric, and never saw the incident from a cross-cultural lens - precisely what Richard Gere too may have failed to do. Perhaps issuing arrest warrants for Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere was uncalled for. But even if it was an innocuous publicity stunt by an actor, Richard Gere could have prevented a lot of conflict with a little bit of cultural sensitivity on his part. It doesn’t take a Third Culture Kid to realize that in a postmodernist world, we’re not as isolated as we used to be. As global citizens we must all strive to be a little more understanding and culturally sensitized, and not see the world through our own culturally conditioned eyes only.
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